Growing up, my mother was the cutest, sweetest, most fun mom I’ve ever met. You may think I’m a bit biased, but ask any of my friends and I’m pretty confident they’d agree. She began developing Alzheimer’s disease in her early 60s. It took my family and I years to accept that she had dementia, but once we did accept it, she changed us all. 

My father became her biggest advocate. Through the grace of God and my father’s example, we learned to value all people, regardless of their thinking abilities, and learned to connect with a population of people that are often left neglected because their friends and family are busy or may feel uncomfortable seeing them in this condition. Even when my mother was unable to speak words, she never stopped enjoying our company. She didn’t know my name anymore and she might not have even known who I was, but she knew that I loved her and I knew she loved me. 

My mom loved to be hugged. I had read about hug therapy, so I began hugging her for longer periods than the 30 seconds I normally would. She would always laugh and pat my back for the first couple of minutes. After about 8 or 9 minutes, she would say, “Love, Love, Love.” It may sound strange to some people, but I miss both the mother I had growing up and I also miss the mother I had in her final years, when she had lost most of her worldly concerns. I learned so much from and through my mom. So many families and friends of people with dementia miss this opportunity. Many residents are left without visitors.

Through God, our difficult situation has been used for good. Love, Love, Love Ministries are the namesake of my mother’s love, and both ministries were begun with some of the money left from my mother’s care. We continue to support these ministries in the hope that one day all people will feel valued and connected.